Cost vs Benefit: a Decision of Delayed Gratification

*** THIS IS A DELAYED POST! *** This was written back when I achieved "B" block status with Tai Chi about a month ago. Enjoy! ***

I am sitting here at the Dining Room table thinking about how sometimes you really want something, but to attain that something you must give up something else.  Cryptic I know, but I am having a real life decision at the moment based on my opportunity to move into the Disciple Program at the TPD.  I was fortunate enough to sit down with Sifu today and go over the benefits of this program and of course the costs associated with access to more activities it offers.  The cost increase to move into this program was not extreme by any means, compared to what I am already paying.  In fact, I was all ready to sign the paper to move into the program, but one thing stood in my way.  I could not get a hold of my wife to talk over the increase financial investment and to see how it would impact our current financial plan.  See in our household my wife and I have clearly defined roles in our new single income family.  I make the money and figure out how it can be spent as quickly as possible.  She is the keeper of the family budget and the director of the "Snap Dada back into reality" foundation.  This is a balance that has definitely worked for us so far.

A little back story for a minute.  3 years ago my wife and I started our married life with some substantial debt that we both accrued separately.  We were both working and making good money (for ourselves) at the time, but we also wanted children.  After doing the numbers, we found out that if we both worked and sent our child to day care, that we would basically be taking my wife's paycheck and give it directly to some day care agency.  We looked at that and decided that when we had kids, we both wanted her to stay home to raise our children.  However, in order to do that we would have to pay down a substantial amount of debt to even think about making that into a reality.  So we made a goal.  Pay down the debt to a predetermined amount and then we could start our family.  This way, we would be in a position to live off of one income and take care of our child the way we wanted to.  Now some people would think that is just a waste of effort, that debt comes back regardless of what you do.  Just have the kids when they come and just grin and bare it when it happens (no pun intended ladies).  But to us, this is the cost we needed to incur in order to have the delayed gratification of the life we wanted to live with our family.  So to make a long story short, we downsized our life to fit within my paycheck (which was not a lot for a family to live on) and used the majority of her paycheck to pay off our debt.  It took us two years to pay down the debt, but we did it. Now we have a beautiful and healthy baby boy being taken care of by his Mummum everyday.  Just the way wanted it to be.  

Now how does this fit into my current situation?  It is all about delayed gratification and setting goals.  The increase to my TPD tuition may not be a great amount, but if I do that, what will I have to NOT do in return to balance it out?  There are many things that I know my family needs that takes a lot of money: a new house, a car for my wife (not a new one, just a car), and fixes to our current home to make it sellable in this economy to name a few.  All of these things take priority to something that purely effects me. I may make the money, but I do not just support myself.  

So even though I want to be in a black shirt more than anything, I need to understand that now is not the time for the added expense.  I am still getting a great experience with the Zen Super Boot Camp and myTai Chi classes.  I may not get to some other very neat stuff right now with Tai Chi, but a new home for my growing family means a lot more to me right now.

So I am setting a goal to save towards the Disciple program so that I will not place the added expense on our shrinking credit card debt.  I will continue with the ZSBC and my Tai Chi classes and work to continue the success that I have already started to see in my mental focus as well as my body.  I will be a black shirt, but first I must do the right thing and continue my family's efforts that are currently underway.  In the end, when I put on that black shirt, it is going to feel that much better.

Some of you may be thinking that I am writing this to talk people out of moving into the Disciple or Mastery program.  That would not be further from the truth.  I am writing this post for those like me who struggle with balance in their life.  Who may be faced with a similar decision about moving into the next level of training and feel that everyone else will be moving up and they will be left behind.  I can tell you that I felt that way while thinking this over.  What I want to convey in this post is that you have to make the correct decision for you and your family.  Members of the ZSBC have a commitment of 12 months already.  If you are like me, the time commitment alone limits the amount of activities you can participate in and still have a life outside of TPD and work.  It is ok to delay this decision to move on if you believe it is the right thing for you to do and know you are not alone.